Monday, March 19, 2007

Today I am having some anxiety, but breathing through it. Hillsong United helping me worship.. . . . kids are peaceful.
I'm gonna vent. . .a little random. . .

God is good. You are so good God. Statements of my faith. Running through my mind, falling from my lips. Praise.

-my beloved Frank births a unbelivably beautiful son and I got to assist her husband and family support her. her birth was worship. . .I am humbled.
-A friend's cousin dies horribly days after she births her baby son, extreme joy, un-measureable pain
-Life and death with God holding them both
-Releasing a sibling and spouse, they are splitting apart. I tried to help them hold it together.....but God removed me from the middle. Now loving sibling through it. Painful, given truth. The truth will hold up, always, but, there will be a choice to a certain extent to not believe the truth. Regardless I thank you for your truth God and pray for grace to turn to it, no matter how I feel.
-Last year I released long time friends that I was holding as an idol. It's been freeing and painful. I trust God with them
. . .open to whatever God asks me to do with them. I am commited to obey and serve Christ in this. It's been interesting waiting. God will work quicker with me out of the way. The love God is asking of me is one of extracting myself. This is painful, but He is holding it.
-This year, crosswater church plant.........where we're going and what God's revealing
-Testing God on his method of financial planning. I see the light, the off ramp is coming. Hallelujah!

Now to what matters the most:
Jesus you are all.


Feeling like I've had a lot of joy and challenges lately, forgetting deep pain and tragic events will balance it out: deepen character and make us more useful to Christ.......a little scary and sad, but I accept it.


We were talking to the boys about bringing friends to church last night. We told Eli that his friend Zach did not know Jesus and that he needs him. Immediately Eli was panicked and insisted that we needed to tell him about Jesus. He was so adamant that I knew that what we have been living before Eli has affected him. Joy. So innocent. We could have told Eli at that moment that not everyone wants our Lord, but we just enjoyed him instead. He'll find out as he grows up. I don't want him to loose this childlikeness to his faith.

I know that you're alive
You came to fix my broken life
I sing to glorify
Your holy name, Jesus Christ.

You changed it all
Broke down the wall
When I spoke and confessed
in you I am blessed
Now I walk in the light, victorious sight of You.

I'll never be the same.

---------------------------------
falling on my knees in worship
giving all i am to seek your face
lord all i am is yours

my whole life i place in your hands
god of mercy humble i bow down
in your presence at your throne

i called you answered
and you came to my rescue
and i want to be where you are

my whole life i place in your hands
god of mercy humbled i bow down
in your presence at your throne

i called you answered
and you came to my rescue
and i want to be where you are
(repeat)

my life
be lifted high
and our world
be lifted high
and our love
be lifted high
(repeat)

i called you answered
and you came to my rescue
and i want to be where you are
(repeat)

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